Mom, two posts in one week?! Now I'm the one slackin' :)
I told you briefly about this dream I had last week but I really wanted to blog about it so I could have somewhere to remember it. You have often said that dreams are a place where you can work reality out, meaning, sometimes you can find the answers in dreams (at least thats how I've understood it). I think that's what happened last week!
The last month or so has been incredibly hectic and overwhelming. I am constantly questioning myself, debating whether or not I am doing the right thing in every facet of my life. I'm not complaining or trying to sound dramatic because I think a lot of people feel this way but instead of just "going with it", we all feel compelled to scrutinize and STRESS out. Well after last weeks dream I am feeling much better about things :)
So, much of the dream is chaos and nonsense, the part that matters involves myself, my dad and my grandfather, Da. We were sitting at a huge table chit chatting when my sick grandfather begins to tell us he has the honor of "giving out pretzels and bacon" at his nursing home that night. Because he had Alzheimer's and something like that would be a "big" deal, my Dad and I start saying how great that is and acting excited for him. Quickly after this forced enthusiasm I completely break down and start crying "Dad, I can't handle this, it's too much".
In my dream that sadness is coming from seeing my grandfather deteriorate, (which in reality really was devastating for my entire family) but outside of the dream, in this moment, I think I am referencing the pressure and chaos that I am facing in my life now.
Anyways, so I start to break down and my grandfather reaches over, cups my face with his hard, calloused hands (that always seemed to be so welcoming!) and says "Don't worry honey, you can do this".
Thats when I wake up from my own tears.
It was so incredibly vivid. I woke up still feeling his embrace and had a very difficult time falling back asleep. I'm not sure what the significance of my Dad being these is but his father is very sick right now and as I've thought about it more, I think maybe some of the relief and faith that I felt from Da, is suppose to be felt by my Dad too? I don't know but I'm glad he was there, even if it was just a dream :)
In other news, Liv and I went to the park on Fri and I am SO happy to say the sun DID show it's face for a bit!!!
Have the proof right here:
I promise to stop with all the phone pictures, the quality is awful!! And I truly do not have a good excuse because I have the incredible camera now and should be utilizing it!
Mom, you da bomb.